Losses, may it be of endearing people or important things are an inevitable of part of life. Everything that exists is prone to annihilation eventually. It is no easy thing to go through and recover from such a devastating experience. The least anyone can do to a grieving person is to offer them emotional and moral support. Here are a few tips which can work for you if you want to help a grief-struck person around you.
Give space but do not abandon
Constantly pushing a grieving person to getter better and just ‘forget’ their loss is something that can completely worsen the situation. Instead of getting too much supportive and interfering, it is good to give some space to the grieving person. Giving space does not mean that you completely abandon them out of your mere fear of disturbing them. Maintain a balance in your meetings as well as your interactions them. Let them know that your there for them without disrupting their personal space and life. You will be surprised to know just how much your balanced presence can ameliorate a grieving person’s life than your absolute absence.
Empathize with similar experiences
Psychologically speaking, being able to relate to an experience, something or someone can have strengthening effects on the mind. Knowing that you are not the only one who is or has gone through a similar devastating experience offers the kind of relief like nothing else can. It ensures that you are not alone in whatever you are facing and that someone out there actually understands it. Knowing that a person who lost a loved one before can move on and live a normal life, in the long run, drives a grief-struck person to muster up his courage. Therefore, whenever you see a grieving person and want to offer them matchless support tell them the anecdotes of similar devastating experiences and ensure them that they can survive through it as well. Make sure that you do not start to brag and impose what you have only heard on the grieving person as it can adversely make them think of you as someone who does not completely understand what has happened to them. Remember that personal experiences are way better to be told that someone else’s experiences.
Provide comfort food and look after their needs
During the days of calamity, one often fails to function and meet the daily needs of life in a proper manner. A grieving person is so drowned in his own grief and sorrowful thoughts that he fails to even eat properly during the grieving period. One of the most important support rituals you can do to help a grieving person is to offer them cooked food or have them food stored in their homes. This will not only drive them to eat but also cook for themselves soon. Look after the other routine needs of the bereaved person such as laundry, collecting mail, calling in their work and looking after their home for a short period of time. This will show them how you have their back and it will also help them get back to normal life. If the grieving person has kids, babysit them as well for some days.
Attending the funeral means so much for the bereaving person. It shows them how many people loved the deceased person and that he is not alone in all this. Ask the grieving person if you can attend the funeral as well as the memorial ceremony. If they say yes, try to offer help in making arrangements. This will relieve the grieving person from additional responsibilities and peer pressure and let him let out his sorrow without any disturbance.
Accompany in death certificate signing
Shortly after the loss of a beloved one, the family member nearest to the deceased is usually called upon to sign the death certificate. Doing so can spark all the sadness and sorrow and initiate the grieving cycle all over again. The grieving persons are often seen to lose composure in certain cases. It is highly recommended that you offer to accompany them to have the certificate signed without inciting extreme feeling. Your simple request and company will do so much for the grieving person and help them maintain composure.
Avoid religious propositions
Most of the people think that in situations like death, it is essential to associate the loss with God Will and the idea of heaven. There is nothing more irritating to the grieving person than you explaining all the events as a chain leading towards their betterment. Try not to tell the grieving person things like ‘Maybe it is for your own good’ and that ‘God will reward you with something better’. It is better to keep the religious propositions to yourself as some of your beliefs may work as fuel on the fire and make the person dislike you completely.
Drive positivity towards them
After the loss of a beloved one, the grieving persons often resort to smelling and touching the things which the deceased person used during its life. Doing so can worsen the situation. Help them make peace with the deceased person’s belonging. After a few months have passed, give them new fragrances, indoor plants and other soothing stuff which will help them recover from the gone’s memories.
Try to cheer them up
Many people may think that it is odd to try to make the bereaving person laugh. However, it is certainly the opposite case here. It is good to tell your ‘silly things and quirks’ to the grieving person which will make them laugh a little. This will boost their inner strength.
Offer additional support on important life events
Important events such as anniversaries, birthdays and graduation ceremonies etc are the moments which make the sorrow of loss more excruciating than normal. Make a list of these days and keep it to yourself so that you can offer additional support to the grieving person on such days.
Finally, Resort to bereavement counselling
If nothing is helping to better the grieving person, eventually advice them to take bereavement counselling offered by support groups.